My spouse has a SCI. Anyone else angry, lonely, and Exhausted?

My spouse has a SCI. Anyone else angry, lonely, and Exhausted?

Posted by Doinks on Apr 11, 2017 4:23 pm

Anyone else exhausted, angry, frustrated, wore out, lonely and mad? Am I the only one? Lets be honest! I don't want to dump on anyone. I just want to know if I'm not the only one? Is it normal to feel this way? I feel like I'm such a bad person for thinking and feeling this way

Re: My spouse has a SCI. Anyone else angry, lonely, and Exhausted?

Posted by TJ14 on Apr 12, 2017 8:37 pm

Doinks,  my name is TJ Griffin and with the Christopher Reeve peer mentor program. What you're feeling is completely normal. I would love a chance to speak with you to see if I can provide you with a certified Christopher Reeve peer mentor. We have peer mentors that are married to spinal cord injury individuals. Please give me a call at 817-360-6869 or email me directly at tjgriffin@christopherreeve.org if you would like for me to set you up with a one on one peer mentor 

Re: My spouse has a SCI. Anyone else angry, lonely, and Exhausted?

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Apr 19, 2017 12:14 pm

Hey there Doinks,

Psychologist Dan Gottlieb here. It is very normal and natural to feel those emotions-including guilt. I remember when I was going through rehab so many years ago one of my balance exercises was to gently tap a beach ball between my wife and I. Well, it started out as gentle but then it devolved into each of us slamming the ball at each other! My poor physical therapist didn't know where to hide.

Yes, anger. Anger is the voice of betrayal and even know your partner may not have done anything wrong, you have experienced a betrayal. My wife was betrayed as her husband and partner stopped being either for a long period of time. Her future life as she had envisioned was torn from her grasp. Angry? You bet.

I am glad that you are allowing yourself to feel these emotions and express them. So many family caregivers pretend they don't feel these emotions but rather bury them.

Peer mentoring could very well be helpful for both of you. And so might a brief course of couples therapy.

If you are interested in the latter, please feel free to contact me at: WWW.DrDanGottlieb.com
and I will be happy to see if I can find someone in your area.

In any event, please stay in touch and I promise you will feel less alone by doing so.
Please take care
Dan

Daniel Gottlieb PhD
WWW.DrDanGottlieb.com
DrDanGottlieb1946@Gmail.com
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

Re: My spouse has a SCI. Anyone else angry, lonely, and Exhausted?

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Apr 19, 2017 12:15 pm

Hey there Doinks,

Psychologist Dan Gottlieb here. It is very normal and natural to feel those emotions-including guilt. I remember when I was going through rehab so many years ago one of my balance exercises was to gently tap a beach ball between my wife and I. Well, it started out as gentle but then it devolved into each of us slamming the ball at each other! My poor physical therapist didn't know where to hide.

Yes, anger. Anger is the voice of betrayal and even know your partner may not have done anything wrong, you have experienced a betrayal. My wife was betrayed as her husband and partner stopped being either for a long period of time. Her future life as she had envisioned was torn from her grasp. Angry? You bet.

I am glad that you are allowing yourself to feel these emotions and express them. So many family caregivers pretend they don't feel these emotions but rather bury them.

Peer mentoring could very well be helpful for both of you. And so might a brief course of couples therapy.

If you are interested in the latter, please feel free to contact me at: WWW.DrDanGottlieb.com
and I will be happy to see if I can find someone in your area.

In any event, please stay in touch and I promise you will feel less alone by doing so.
Please take care
Dan

Daniel Gottlieb PhD
WWW.DrDanGottlieb.com
DrDanGottlieb1946@Gmail.com
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

Re: My spouse has a SCI. Anyone else angry, lonely, and Exhausted?

Posted by Jut on Jun 2, 2017 10:09 am

your not alone, my brother, 2 years older, was a quad for 30 years, passed away 4 years ago, there were many of the same feelings because he depended on me and my 3 sisters and mother. We couldn't do it all at the same time.  Everyone would get burnt out. You have to have an outlet. 2years before he passed my son became a paraplegic from a car accident, and me, I have sci from a car wreck in 2003. I can walk and use my arms and hands to some extent. Not knowing what to call my injury. I sure can't get the help through the spinal cord and traumatic brain injury corp because I'm not hurt enough. How crazy is that?

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