orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

Posted by rollingMASSguyED on Oct 1, 2016 1:43 pm

been paralized since 2002 with a t-12 spinal cord injury.  having a hard time dealing with the inability to achieve an orgasm.  actually nothing would be better to at least get that back into my life after so long without it.  is this a thing that will never happen?  are there any toys or things that may help me in this?  i would appreciate any help i can get.  thanks in advance
 
edward page

Re: orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

Posted by Jenn on Oct 12, 2016 11:51 am

Hi Edward,

Listed below is a link to our factsheet on male sexuality that may be have some helpful information.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/reeve-assets-production/Sexuality-for-Males-9-14.pdf

You may also want to post this question in our Nurse Linda Forums as well.
http://www.spinalcordinjury-paralysis.org/forums/viewcategory/11775​ 

You are welcome to call or email the Resource Center should you have any specific questions or would like to connect with an Information Specialist. 
1-800-539-7309 or email infospecialist@christopherreeve.org 


Take Care 

Re: orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Oct 12, 2016 3:19 pm

Hi Edward,
 
Dr. Dan Gottlieb here, the psychologist from the "on well-being" discussion.

Many people say the definition of stress is trying to change the moment you are in. Of course you are frustrated by not being able to achieve orgasm. I have been a quadriplegic for nearly 37 years and I still miss all of the sensations that go with having an orgasm. The first time I tried to make love with my wife after my accident, she moved her hand down my chest towards my penis and I just cried and said: "don't touch me where I'm dead". (For future reference, this is not a good foreplay technique!)

Since that time I have had a great deal of experience with having sex, and my current lover and I have a wonderful love life. And when I bring her to orgasm, my body reacts as though I also had an orgasm. The energy builds up, it's a wonderful experience when I can feel her body energize and then let go. But, alas, no sensations.

The trick with any form of adversity is to do everything we can to improve our lot. But at the same time to do everything we can to live the life we have rather than waiting to live the life we want.

I gave a lecture recently to an organization that deals with sex in the latter stages of life. The essence of my lecture was that sex wasn't what it was before, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

When we release our grasp on our image of what we want/need, we find that after the self-pity and the tears, we have a greater sense of well-being and peace. And who could ask for more than that?

I would love to hear your reaction to this and if there is any other way I can be helpful.

Dan
 
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

Re: orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Oct 19, 2016 4:40 pm

Hello again Edward,

So I've spent the last hour or so doing research about spinal injury and sexuality. I have looked over all of the data from all of the websites including this one and I have read about getting and maintaining an erection, ejaculation, sperm counts and sperm motility etc. I've read about issues of self-esteem and relationships.

And not one article addressed orgasm with spinal cord injury! There were plenty of surveys and statistics but no good treatment that I was able to find.

I am both surprised and angry. Nevertheless, let's look at the big picture here.

Obviously you want to experience orgasm for the same reason any of us would like to; it just feels so f***ing good! But ultimately, you want what we all want-pleasure and happiness.

So whether you find a way to achieve orgasm or not, my greatest wish for you is to experience pleasure and happiness.

But some of us define happiness in such narrow terms that it never gets achieved. You know, the people that say they will be happy when they make a certain amount of money or when their mortgage is paid off or when their child leaves home or goes to the right college or when there spouse becomes more understanding or when we lose 20 pounds or clean our closets. Or even achieving orgasm.

Can you imagine being happy and feeling good about yourself and your life without ever experiencing orgasm? I became friendly with one of my father's lady friends after he passed away. I watched her health slip away to a point where she could barely get out of her apartment, nor did she really want to. She was alone mostly all day every day. Nevertheless, she seemed to be happy. On her 90th birthday she said to me: "who would have ever guessed that at this stage of my life I would be comfortable inside my own skin?"

I wish that for you. And for all of us
dan

 
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

Re: orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Oct 19, 2016 4:42 pm

Hello again Edward,

So I've spent the last hour or so doing research about spinal injury and sexuality. I have looked over all of the data from all of the websites including this one and I have read about getting and maintaining an erection, ejaculation, sperm counts and sperm motility etc. I've read about issues of self-esteem and relationships.

And not one article addressed orgasm with spinal cord injury! There were plenty of surveys and statistics but no good treatment that I was able to find.

I am both surprised and angry. Nevertheless, let's look at the big picture here.

Obviously you want to experience orgasm for the same reason any of us would like to; it just feels so f***ing good! But ultimately, you want what we all want-pleasure and happiness.

So whether you find a way to achieve orgasm or not, my greatest wish for you is to experience pleasure and happiness.

But some of us define happiness in such narrow terms that it never gets achieved. You know, the people that say they will be happy when they make a certain amount of money or when their mortgage is paid off or when their child leaves home or goes to the right college or when there spouse becomes more understanding or when we lose 20 pounds or clean our closets. Or even achieving orgasm.

Can you imagine being happy and feeling good about yourself and your life without ever experiencing orgasm? I became friendly with one of my father's lady friends after he passed away. I watched her health slip away to a point where she could barely get out of her apartment, nor did she really want to. She was alone mostly all day every day. Nevertheless, she seemed to be happy. On her 90th birthday she said to me: "who would have ever guessed that at this stage of my life I would be comfortable inside my own skin?"

I wish that for you. And for all of us
dan

 
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

Re: orgasm with a t-12 spinal cord injury

Posted by elamoxon on Jul 10, 2017 5:54 am

When we release our grasp on our image of what we want/need, we find that after the self-pity and the tears, we have a greater sense of well-being and peace. Plan for holidays to India for Kerala ayurveda tour and golden triangle tour surely you will like it.

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