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Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by LoriK on Apr 3, 2013 4:53 pm

I don\'t see happy. I can\'t vision that for myself . I keep seeking out how o=
ther people have found happiness . A common theme is to look to God. I sti=
ll struggle with things I didn\'t do as able bodied, so they stick. With me n=
ow and now impossible. Ok not impossible, but hard, such a s going to. Visi=
t my brother in WA.

Always give the most love u can:)


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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Apr 3, 2013 5:08 pm

dear Lori,
as you know, I also live with pain. And when the pain is particularly bad, it does drain the body and demand attention. I don't know about you, but I will likely spend the rest of my life with this pain. So what now?
This is also new for you Lori. It takes the brain a while to figure out this new life in this new body. It takes a while to mourn everything you've lost and live the life you have. And it takes even longer to envision the future that could bring with it gratification and even joy.
I am really struck by how you conclude your posts. They are about love.
Please give the most love you can and start with your body.
Must sign off now, but please feel free to post some more and I will get back to you. Until then, please take care
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by LoriK on Apr 3, 2013 6:14 pm

Yes. The pain feels as though I\'m singled out, yet I forget how pain affects most of us in wheelchairs. I\'m not sure how long it will take me to accept this life, but I do wish love for others, because I see so much of neglect. The change in this new life also has change for our friends and families. God Bless
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Apr 10, 2013 10:31 am

hi Lori,
let's continue this discussion in the "living with pain" section.
Dan
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Apr 24, 2013 2:44 pm

next week's webcast will be on the topic of pain.

Whether it is physical, emotional or social pain when we feel isolated or alienated.I am told by neurologists that all pain lights up in the same part of the brain.

Does that mean the coping mechanisms are the same once the pain changes from acute to chronic?

Join us and share your experience-and your wisdom
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on May 29, 2013 4:00 pm

we've been having an active discussion about caregiving and how difficult it is for caregivers to sometimes stay in the relationship. So…

Next week's web chat will be on the topic of "care: what it's like to be on the giving and and the receiving end."

We never talk about care has a relationship between 2 people. And sometimes caring feels loving and sometimes it feels burdensome and sometimes it feels somewhere in the middle.

Likewise receive care can feel good and we can feel grateful. And sometimes it can feel shameful and we can feel angry.

What's it like to receive care from a loved one and what's it like to give it?
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Jun 26, 2013 2:15 pm


for our next webcast"on July 10, I thought we would have an Open forum

over the last few months, we have talked about everything from physical pain to coping with the lives we have to maintaining friendships to managing a difficult life as a caregiver.
Our "healing the heart and mind" discussion has begun a very powerful and passionate dialogue about when is it time to live a marriage as a caregiver spouse and when is it time to commit even more deeply to the marriage.

This month I would like to hear from you about the issues you struggle with, the ones you don't understand, the ones you have resolved and the ones you haven't.

And I would love you to weigh in on this discussion about what you would like to hear more about in future webcasts.

Thanks so much!
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Gerthro on Jul 8, 2013 4:19 pm

The next webcast has been moved to August 7th at 4 PM ET as Dr. Dan takes a well deserved break.

Rob
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Jul 17, 2013 4:27 pm

so it turns out that August is a bust also as I will be out of town on the 7th and rescheduling has become difficult. So our next chat will be on September 4.
Coincidentally, that evening begins the Jewish new year and prior to the new year and right after we are to focus on forgiveness.

Interesting topic for a web chat. Can we forgive people who may have abandoned us? Can we forgive the "gods" for what has happened to us? Can we forgive ourselves for being broken or ambivalent caregivers or both?

So I would like to talk about forgiveness in September. But as with all chats, we wind up talking about whatever you would like to talk about. I look forward to hearing your stories in September

Dan
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Sep 11, 2013 9:46 am

hey everybody,
last Wednesday's webcast was really  fascinating. We had very few joining us and only one caller. In a way our time together felt more intimate and open. Spent  almost the whole time talking with one caller about what it means to be human..  She coaches wheelchair basketball and wants to teach much more than basketball technique, she wants to teach the big picture about what's really important in life. It was a great discussion.

Maybe next time we can talk about the big picture  in all of our lives--wwhat do you believe the purpose of your life is? What does having a life  mean to you? What's your belief about how to achieve well-being?

Look forward to talking more about this on October 2!
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Sep 25, 2013 11:37 am

next week on our webcast, we will be  talking about meditation, what it is and what it isn't. All of this is  kind of an introduction to our program on mindfulness  meditation for caregivers we will be hosting in Philadelphia in November.
Everybody's talking about meditation these days, but it certainly isn't a miracle cure for what ails us. It doesn't give us instant serenity and doesn't change the fact of our lives.

But it can change the way we experience our lives, and that can change the quality of our lives.
Want to know more? Next Wednesday at 4 PM on our web chat. Look forward to talking with you then
Dan
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Gerthro on Oct 22, 2013 3:28 pm

NEW TIME STARTING Nov 6. 3:00 PM ET.

We will continue talking about reducing stress in your life. Dan has some practical tips you can try as you are listening in.

Sign up now.
https://cc.readytalk.com/r/amawq1hkmqgv&eom

Rob
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Oct 23, 2013 2:50 pm

I have a quick and provocative definition of stress:

Stress occurs when we wish the moment we are in  to be different.

Of course, it's impossible to make the moment  we are in  different than what it is,  but some part of our brains  can't quite get that! More about that during our web chat
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Oct 23, 2013 2:59 pm

I just posted this under "support groups for SCI"

Many years ago I conducted a group for couples when the wives had breast cancer. This was one of the most open, vulnerable and intimate groups I've ever had the privilege to spend time with. There were 8 couples in the group and together we went to four funerals. And as we watched our friend deteriorate, the group seemed to grow closer and more loving towards her and her husband. And then we held her husband in his grief for as long as he needed us.

This kindred spirit business is like the bonds formed by soldiers in war or siblings who endure trauma together. They just "get it" when they feel no one else can.

And isn't this what we all want? I think from childhood through old age, we just want to be understood for who we are and not what we look like or what we accomplish. That's the power of these groups.

I believe that's the power of this group-and especially our monthly web chat group.

jjoin us!
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Nov 27, 2013 3:21 pm

next week  on our webcast  we will be talking  about  disease. No not disease as an illness,  dis-ease.  By that I mean  whatever we carry inside  that causes us  dis – ease.
You see the opposite of  dis – ease is simply  ease.

this is based  on a caregiver conference we did with the  Christopher Reeve folks and  the Inglis foundation here in Philadelphia. The conference was magical and I would love to be able to continue the work  with those  who are not able  to make it.
These issues affect all of us  whether we are caregivers  are those being cared for.

So what is it in your life that interferes with your sense of comfort,, well-being or happiness?
it could be that hope for something we can never have or expecting ourselves  to be different than who we really are or critical self judgment  or many  many  other things.
So let's talk about what causes your  dis – ease.  And what can be done about it..
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Gerthro on Jan 10, 2014 1:40 pm

Happy New Year!

Dr. Dan is back on Wednesday, January 15th at 3 PM ET. His topic:

Lonely, alone or just different. What's it really like living with a disability?
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Jan 22, 2014 3:16 pm

At the risk of being Hallmarkie, I'd like to do February's chat on love.

I know, it's Valentine's Day but that's not the kind of love I am talking about. Romantic love is a great gig when you can get it. I am talking about something deeper more solid.

I'd love to have a discussion about love, what it is, what it's not, and what we really long for in the deepest sense.

I said goodbye to a patient this week who I had been working with for a long time. I had seen him through divorce, strained relationship with his children, depression and now remarriage. When he left, we embraced. We both felt love.

And then there is Romantic love, making love, the love of family and friends, love for animals and the love of nature. What is it that we ache for and why?
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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RE: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Feb 19, 2014 3:42 pm

next months webcast is not until March 12, but I have an idea that was triggered by  Danny Gillman. Danny is a c-4 quadriplegic  who was injured  in 1972.. His book "the blue hole", I believe shares  some of the valuable lessons  he's learned  over the course  of these 32 years..

So here is what I would like to talk about. What's the lessons you have learned  since your accident? Lessons about your body,, lessons about relationships,, and lessons about life..  Let's share them together and who knows, we could wind up writing  a bestseller!

That is, unless you guys weigh in  that you would like to talk about something different..
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Mar 26, 2014 4:11 pm

For next week's Web chat, I thought we could further develop some of the posts in our "sexual intimacy" discussion. Our discussion seems to be going in the direction of intimacy and romantic relationships whether or not the intimacy is sexual.
We are touching on the themes of expectations, hurt feelings, fear of rejection and feeling inadequate. All of these emotions common in relationships whether we are disabled or not. But being disabled certainly doesn't help!

So join me for next week's discussion when we will talk about:

intimacy. What's the fear and what's the wish?
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Apr 16, 2014 12:28 pm

I started a discussion last week about  how this disability  has changed you,, whether  you are disabled or caring for one who is..  Haven't had much action  on the discussion  yet,,  but  I still think it is an interesting topic to explore..
So I would like to look at whether it's changed  your world view, your relationships, your feelings  about yourself or even your  identity.


That is what I would like to talk about  on Wednesday, May 7.  But for those of you who have been on days web chats before,, we usually wind up talking about  whatever  you like to talk about anyway!

Look forward to speaking  with all of you again in a couple of weeks
Dan

Daniel Gottlieb Ph.D.
DrDanGottlieb@aol.com
www.DrDanGottlieb.com
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-gottlieb-phd
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on May 21, 2014 3:08 pm

Next Web chat is right before  Father's Day, so I'd like to talk about  what it means to be a man.  Especially a man with a disability..

Many years ago I was to give a lecture to a group of  doctors at a teaching hospital.  I came into the back  of the lecture hall early  so I just listened to the discussion before mine, which was being given by a physiatrist about  sexuality in spinal cord injury. There was a urologist several rows in front of me who obviously had not seen me in the room  when he raised his hand and asked: "any advice on how I can tell my male patients that they are now only half a man?"

We can all have our reaction  about that man's ignorance, but how many of us guys felt and feel that way now.

So what does it mean to be a man? Not theoretically,  but what does it mean to each of us.

Let's see what we can learn from one another.
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Jun 29, 2014 4:44 pm

Independence Day is right around the corner. But what does independence really mean? Freedom from wheelchairs, catheters or caregivers? For caregivers, does independence mean being free to do what you want when you want to do it as opposed to being a caregiver whether you have the energy or not?

This week on our monthly web chat, we will be talking about:

What does independence really mean to you?

Of course, we'd usually wind up talking about whatever you want and need to talk about so please join us

Dan
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Jul 16, 2014 12:12 pm

hate to tell you this,, but  we will have to skip  this months webcast. On the first  Wednesday of August, I will be having a couple of people lift me up into  a helicopter that will land on a glacier  somewhere in Alaska. Should be exciting  except… Does anyone know if there are mountain lions on glaciers  in Alaska?
Curious minds…
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Aug 27, 2014 2:36 pm

well, I was right. On August 2 I was sitting in a helicopter on top of the glacier. Unbelievable view. I almost cried with awe and gratitude.

And on August 9 I was in the intensive care unit of Atlantic City medical Center fighting for my life. (By the way, I won that little skirmish). Anyway, I spoke about it at length.

But as a result, next week I would like to talk about how we cope with our own fragility and vulnerability.

That of course we will wind up talking about whatever you like!
Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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Re: Monthly Webcasts - Continuing the discussion

Posted by Dan Gottlieb on Sep 29, 2014 3:22 pm


I am really looking forward to October's webcast as I do each month. Last week I gave a keynote speech for the Institute on sexuality and aging entitled: "I'm too sexy for my catheter!"

So I talked about sex for a little while, but then I talked about intimacy, relationships and love. So next week, let's talk about intimacy, relationships and love. How has this changed for you since our mutual trauma and how has it changed over the course of your lifetime.

So please listen in and call in with whatever you like. And if you are uncomfortable, please log on to the web part of the webcast and use the private chat box to send me your question and I will be sure to address it or comment during our web chat.

Register here: https://cc.readytalk.com/r/g7rhg2a3kshl&eom

Dan http://www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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