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    4 Posts
    11 year old recently paralyzed - I want to help her, dont know how
    By Margaret   
    Hello,

    For 2 years I have mentored this sweet 11 year old girl.  Two weeks ago I found out that she was shot and is now paralyzed.  This is breaking my heart.  She can not move either of her legs and also can only move one of her hands.  She is moving to a rehab facility next week. 

    I am going to visit her and her mother on Sunday and I want some guidance on what to say or what I can do to help.  This family unfortunately does not have any resources and was already financially struggling prior to this tragic event.  I worry about this little girl and her future.  I'm not even sure where to start with this. 

    Does anyone have any tips for me?
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    Visit REAPER's profile
    44 Posts
    REAPER  says:
    Just be there for them both let her know that she is not the only one in the world paralyzed let her know it's most definitely not going to be easy but there are people here that will help her and will talk with her ourselves if she needs it give her my email address it's reaper66660@yahoo.com I've only been paralyzed for three yrs but I have been through and learned a lot and still learning but happy to help none the less she will always have someone to help all she has to do is ask which is what I learned and it helps very much
    Posted:   
    Charles Henderson
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    Visit tracy's profile
    14 Posts
    tracy  says:
    What a tragedy. There is no right thing to say. It is so very hard at first, but you do learn to be happy and lead as a fulfilling life as you wish. It takes time and faith and a positive attitude. I actually think the kids come through these things better than adults because they have a longer time to adjust and don't have preconceived ideas of what normal life should be. I will pray for her and her family. As far as resources go, there are many out there for children with disabilities. God will work miracles, you will see. I suggest the family check out carecure.org. It is a great resource. If I, as a paralyzed woman, can answer any questions for her or her family, please let me know and I would be happy to do so- TGale1981@gmail.com
    Posted:   
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    Visit Jama's profile
    130 Posts
    Jama  says:
    Honesty and openness are your best friends here. Don't try to come in all sugary and say it's gonna be just fine! She'll shut you out immediately because she knows right now it's not just fine. The best thing is to cry when you feel sad and laugh when you feel happy. And then tell her it's going to be a long scary trip, but in the end she's gonna come out a champ!  Kids can see through insincerity, so don't feel you have to be the sunshine queen. Instead be a rock and tell her you're in it for the long haul. 
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    Visit prc_donnal's profile
    104 Posts
    prc_donnal  says:

    I think you have gotten really good advcie from others. It is true--there are no right or qwrong things to say. She will just remember that you were/are there for her. I have a sci at c4-5-5. I don't remember conversations, only that my family and friends were there. That's what's important.
     

    also, I am an information specialist here at the PRC. I can send you our NI package of information--I will include information on resources for children with disabilities as well as information on pediatric spinal cord injuries.

    Please let me know if you would liket o receive this information as I would be happy to send it to you. You can email me at dlowich@christopherreeve.org or call me at (800) 539-7309. My extesnion is 7202.


    I hope this helps!

    Sincerely,
    Donna 

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    Visit Margaret's profile
    4 Posts
    Margaret  says:
    Thank you so much for the tips and I really appreciate all of the information you sent me.

    I met with her on Sunday and it was a difficult time.  She has a trache right now, nerve damage in her arms and is C6 parapalegic.  She moves to rehab this week.  She was very scared and upset most of the time I was there.  I just tried to encourage her to do her best and that its going to be scary and hard at times but it would help her in the long run. 

    The one resource I found very helpful is the fundraising link.  Perhaps this is something I try to do.  I'm already running a half marathon in April, perhaps I can tack this on and get people to donate in her honor. 

    There is a long road ahead.  I'm sure I will be reaching out again and on this site all the time. 

    Thank you!!!
    Posted:   
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    Visit Pierre's profile
    4 Posts
    Pierre  says:
    Hello there. I understand that you may not have the answers or direction of where to go with this situation. I work on a daily basis with quads and paras. So if you have any questions contact me at pbrowne@projectwalkatlanta.org I hope to hear from you I think I can help.
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    Visit prc_donnal's profile
    104 Posts
    prc_donnal  says:
    Hi Margaret,

    I do hope the information isssss helpful!

    Also, there is a kids' forum here in the community. At some point, she may want to join
    and  connect with others in similar circumstances.

    Please let me know if you need anything else or if you have additional questions.

    Sincerely,
    Donna
    Posted:   
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