Daniel Gottlieb, Ph.D., a practicing psychologist and family therapist, will be live in this section every Wednesday from 3-4 p.m. ET. Leave a question or comment anytime for him!
we have a discussion on pain, so please take a look at that one. As a matter fact just a few minutes ago I posted about my pain.
And by the way, I am not a paraplegic, I am a quadriplegic (tetraplegic), so I get the helplessness and futility thing. I also understand about fear of over medicating pain.
I can't tell you how to fight your pain. I think fighting with anything makes it worse. Remember when you would fight with your wife or children? That rarely made things better!
Instead, stop fighting with your pain and stop fighting with your body. It's already working very hard to keep you functioning. It deserves your gratitude and open heart rather than pushing it to not feel something it feels.
Please check out the other post. And I am happy you are headed into summer!
Hi Dr. Dan,
Pain is a nebulous thing and no one in Aotearoa has been able to find comfort. Some take opiates, methodone and fantonel patches. Here in Palmerston North we have physicians but its all experiment and see what treatment works.
We have nothing as impressive as the Reeve centre. Pain is very lonely especially if you are your own. Yes, there is no point to fighting it.
There are lots and lots posts on the web. Plenty of information but no substantial evidence.
Dr Dan, I note that you maybe inundated with requests but interested in your thoughts.
yes Michael pain is a lonely piece of business as no one can understand what your pain feels likeThere is a physician named David Brio who suffered unbearable pain in the aftermath of a bone marrow transplant. In the wake of that he wrote a very important and compelling book called: "Language of Pain". I know you like to write more than you'd like to read, but take a look at this book and it might inspire your writing.
What I've talked about elsewhere is that one can change their relationship with pain. I once told a story of an older woman I waited for an elevator with. She was hunched over and using a walker and was in visible pain. She was wearing a very colorful dress and gave me a bright smile and asked how I was. I told her I was fine and asked how she was, to which she replied: "I am really good today and looking forward to it." And then she grimaced as she moved her walker into the elevator.
She had pain just as severe as my neuropathic pain. But until that time, I had been fighting with my pain. I was bracing against it and railing at the gods when I felt it and feeling blue when it passed. The pain was in charge.
And then I realized, it wasn't "Dan" that was suffering as much as it was my body that was suffering. Each time the pain increased, my body went into crisis and suffered. And that changed everything. Instead of fighting with my body, I felt kindness and compassion for the parts of my body that were suffering.
It didn't change the pain, it didn't become magically less severe. But it did change my life dramatically.