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    Most Recent Posts
    Dan Gottlieb  says:
    okay everybody I am anxious to hear how the experiment went! and if you haven't tried it, then just spend 24 hours not saying anything negative ab...

    Dan Gottlieb  says:
    when I was in Denver last month, a young man on a bus approached me and said "God wants you healed". My response was: "where did you ev...

    Daniel Gottlieb, a practicing psychologist and family therapist, will be live in this section every Tuesday from 3-4 p.m. ET. Leave a question or comment anytime for him!  
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    1 Posts
    living with pain and moving forward
    By James   
    Dr. Dan,
    My name is James Howard, I am a veteran living near Ft. Bragg North Carolina and have been a C6C7 quadriplegic for three years now. I have read many of your articles and I appreciate the way in which you explain coping with pain among other things involved with dealing with our disabilities. It's straightforward, inspirational, and has opened my mind to coping with my injury. I have found that writing down my own thoughts and meditation has helped me along the way. I have learned this technique from some of your articles and it is been extremely beneficial and healing for me. I keep these thoughts to myself and for the first time I wanted to share some of my thoughts on living with pain and moving forward with you and others. This is my first time ever posting anything on the blog and these are my own personal thoughts and recommendations, so please take it with a grain of salt.

    At some point during a tragic injury you have to train your brain to think it’s actually comfortable at a higher level of pain. It is an everyday fight to keep medication to a minimum and push your pain threshold to another level. You can reach a point It makes you a healthier person and the people around you healthier. Use that pain to drive your focus in enjoying life and eventually it will become something that your brain does not recognize. The key (for me at least) is to stay busy, focus on your passions in life and enjoying your time with your loved ones.  It brings a new flavor to life that can only be found the hard way.
    For a soldier It’s similar to pushing the extra mile or carrying the extra weight when your body is at its physical breaking point b/c in the big picture soldiers’ lives depend on it. This does not change for people dealing with their breaking points outside of the military ranks. Loved ones and others depend on you and are looking to you for guidance, if anything let that be a worthy focus to motivate you and move forward.
    For some sick reason I enjoyed testing the physical and mental limits of my personal breaking point. (Ranger School, Sapper School, Special Forces Training cources) I felt it  was the true test of intestinal fortitude. It seasoned me to make clear decisions in combat and helped me prepare for my injury. Once you realize there is something more important than yourself, your mind and body will give you the strength to do anything. 

    "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible"-St. Francis of Assisi

    James Howard
    howard82nd@yahoo.com
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    Visit ratherbflyin's profile
    130 Posts
    ratherbflyin  says:
    James,
    You just used one of my very favorite quotes and truisms from St Francis of Assisi.  I have a C5-8 injury, nearly 6 years now, and that particular quote was on my email signature for years. Thank you for sharing your ideas and for your service to our country.
    Carla
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    Visit zuzu's profile
    58 Posts
    zuzu  says:
    As Carla said, I want to thank you for your service to our country.  I appreciate your sharing your thoughts and feel that your attitude and method of coping is an extraordinary way of helping one handle chronic pain.  The idea that there is "something more important than yourself" and that there are people who "depend on you and are looking to your for guidance" can be one of the most important motiations to moving forward and putting the pain messages in the background of your mind.  I hope you continue to share your meditations with us.  The training you had in SF and as a Ranger no doubt helped you find a way to control your focus on the task ahead and block out distractions like physical discomfort.  Sharing those skills could really help us learn how to function at higher pain levels.  
    Deborah
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    Visit Dan Gottlieb's profile
    453 Posts
    Dan Gottlieb  says:
    Hi James,

    Thanks so much for choosing this forum for your first post. Since you quoted St. Francis of Assisi, I shall tell you a Zen story:

    nearly 2 centuries ago a man had an unexpected death in his family and he suffered and had been suffering for months. He went to the Zen master to ask for help. The Zen master said "take a glass of water and put a tablespoon of coarse salt into it and then drink it." Of course the young man did what he was told and almost gagged at the case of the water. "Now, take a tablespoon of salt and put it in a spring brook" the Zen master said. Of course the water was delicious. "The problem is not the salt" the Master said "the problem is the container. If you want your pain to diminish, make the container bigger."

    That's what you have done with your life. You've made the container bigger. You are bigger than your pain and so is your world. The world needs us. It needs us to teach them about dealing with people who navigate the world differently, people who live with pain with courage and grace. Pain, quadriplegia, depression are all sources of suffering. But they are what we have and not all we are.

    And to your point about training your brain to raise your pain threshold, the brain treats itself if we allow it to. I was waiting for the elevator this past summer and an elderly woman came to wait with me. She was on a cane and brightly dressed and gave me a big smile when she said good morning. At the same time, she was in visible pain. When we got to the bottom, she said "I hope you have a good day, I will certainly try to have one." Her pain threshold was sky high. I think she just got there by being open to her pain and not engaging in a lot of self-pity or righteous in the nation.

    Take care of yourself James and please continue to be a teacher. And I want to echo what others have said-thank you for your service to our country
    Posted:   

    Dan

    Daniel Gottlieb PhD
    www.DrDanGottlieb.com
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    Visit nanaboombala's profile
    49 Posts
    nanaboombala  says:
    I would also like to join in, first..........in thanking you for your service.......secondly, for giving us an important tool to help cope with pain. Using pain to drive the focus away from self ............ A focus outside ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you continue to post. God bless.......Norma
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    Norma Carroll
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