hi sarmi,

When we can feel the pain of others, it's heartbreaking. And it opens our hearts wide enough that we can sometimes feel the pain of the world that suffers.
Too many people feel overwhelmed with all of this suffering and they turn their backs. It's understandable, nobody wants to be overwhelmed.
And those who are able to see suffering in other people's hearts, often feel helpless and don't know what to do.
I wrote an article for the Huffington Post on Monday and I will paste the link below. But it addresses the issue of caring. If we can experience openhearted caring for another human being, it can change both of us. And that's how the world begins to change


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-gottlieb-phd/thanksgiving_b_2151816.html

dear dan, the more i know u.....deeper becomes my respect for u! u r an achiever.....giving meaning to life to many of us.....u dear dan!!

The feeling of being overwhelmed is all I feel anymore because people seem to think that I am the one to use I really need you to txt me

Hi Charles,

It sounds like you are suffering terribly. Please e-mail me at:
DrDanGottlieb@aol.com

And when you do, I would like to try to find an MP3 to send you that might be helpful.

And with all due respect, I would challenge your statement that feeling overwhelmed is "all that I feel anymore". Try to pay very close attention to how you feel when you are with your pit bull. And how you feel as you lift your first bite of food to your mouth. Or how you feel the moment after you brush your teeth.

All emotions come and go all day. But the most painful or the most powerful tend to affect our judgment so that we experience the whole day being filled with that emotion. We even find that with people in acute grief who report that they suffer all day, researchers found that they experienced many emotions throughout the day including moments of joy and well-being. But that is not their perception, it's just their experience.

So e-mail me about your personal story and if I can help I will. But in the interim, be a researcher for yourself. One who is curious about you and one who cares deeply about your well-being. Let's see what we can learn about those emotions

Take care Charles. Please

Hello , Hello, Hello,

I am still surprised that people are suffering from neuro pain !!!

They are not curious at all !

Even dear Doctor Dan is not.

I went further in my research and discover that what I was doing is referenced
in acupunctur books as : millimeter waves acupuncture !!!

It is still working for me , and also I have found out that it could do good to sensations
to the injured legs in my case.

Of course i am not a physician and i dont spend million of dollars and i dont use
rats, i am the only rat that i know !!

I hope that one day some people would be curious enough to go the other way instead of
waiting for a solution which is expensive and will give million of dollars to investors .....

Dan, You have a GREAT! Topic and I don't know where to begin.  I suffer from chronic L1-L5 ,leg, knee, and calf pain.  I'm so sick of it!
I have been this way for over 1 year and other than doctors fighting for my Insurance business,the 12+ proceedures later I still have no relief.  Handfuls of any medication for pain is at my bedside but I have no quality of life.  MONEY is the only thing that matters for living a pain free life. THE BS stops here.  The mental stress for fighting LTD Metlife, Lawyers and the next treatment has left me empty, broken, lonely and bitter.  I have several ideas to invent that would raise money for spinal cord injury recipients but MONEY again or lack of support prevents me from helping myself or others. Not one lawyer was interested in pro bono, which brings EVERYTHING BACK TO MONEY.   Piggs, There's no God and No Santa Clause
Just a physical Cliff 

Dave,
You wont been asked for money from me, and also you could get free of your pain and be the master.
So read my topic living without pain, I am very happy that at least two people have beleived me. And are in a better shape now.
You could continue in this path where all those people complain and cry and think that  there is nothing to be done ...
Or take your future in your hands

Where can I read your material?
Dave

this is topic in this site :

http://www.spinalcordinjury-paralysis.org/discussions/caregiving/2011/12/20/living-without-pain

Hi Doc!!
 Love your perpective..... on "all that I feel"
 I am a SCI L3-L5 for the last 33 years..... As I age, have had numerous surgeries  for musculo-skeletal issues because i am SO active.
My LIFE is WHAT i focus on....Not that I don't have my piece o' crap days... I DO...
 My bowels are a constant issue..... Pains an issue  blahblah blah
 but i have trained myself HOW to THINK about my life & what gives it meaning..
 I Have nothing but immense love & compassion 4 those who are alone and isolated ....somedays I  TOO am there ...so thanx 4 all u do  to help create this community....
 xoxoxo Stefanie

hi Stefanie,

I love your perspective and your world view. Do you think it can be taught? And if not, do you think it can take less than a decade or two to get there?

what you are talking about is real fundamental changes that have taken place within you. That is exactly what we are going to be talking about at our next web chat on January 9 at 4 PM Eastern time. Please join us

Please take care of you

hi Patrickp,

I am so happy this device has been so effective for you and the others you have been talking with. Certainly Western medicine is not all that great with dealing with pain so I am a big fan of looking for all of the resources available to us.

Anyway, as we all know, there is no one answer for all of us and that we tend to pay homage to the approaches that have helped us and share that with others.

Take care and happy holidays

Dear Dan,

I thought about you those last days . As far as I understood you have been suffering from heavy pain those long years .
Why dont you try this for yourself, of course it is not something a doctor will order , myself I took this opportunity when the first trial was astonishing , a burning sensation gone in 5mn !!!!

As I said I have no personal interest beside helping you like I have been helped by a friend of mine.
If you want to give it a try and missing something in my explaination , I will be more than happy to give yoy some additional info

You said :

.Anyway, as we all know, there is no one answer for all of us and that we tend to pay homage to the approaches that have helped us and share that with others.

But we have in common a body and you should read this :

"The body electric" by Robert o Becker . It explain the secret of healing the body by copying mother nature.

I wish you a very good new year with your loves one.

Patrick

I just scanned the book and it looks pretty interesting. And I agree (and most responsible physician's do) that electrical currents often dictate cell activity which is the underpinnings of overall bodily functioning. We know this from early rudimentary forms of electroshock treatment for mental illness and we have more sophisticated forms of that today. Not to mention the exciting new field of electromagnetic therapy for the treatment of intractable depression.

I would encourage anybody who is so inclined to research this further. And, Patrickp, I remember very little from graduate school. But I do remember my course in advertising taught me that a soft sell is more attractive than a hard sell. I know I am far from a marketing maven, but like I said, this is not for everyone-just those who choose to explore it.

I would love to hear from others also about their experience with pain and held that experience may have changed over the years

Dear Dan, I fully agree with you , I am a bad advertiser and marketer. It is not really a problem as I dont make a living from it. I agree again when you said it is not for everyone, I just thought you are not everyone. ( hard seller again). I only wanted to find people bold enough or desesperate enough to try this. A doctor from the rehab center told me that the important point is me, i should not care for others, unfortunatly I do care for others also. I fully understand your point I am not in the good area, and what you do here is very important also , make people accept their pain,using the power of their spirit.
Best regards.
Patrick.

I have been communicating with LoriK in the "monthly webcasts" discussion about pain and how isolating it is.
Physician David Brio in his book "The Language of Pain" talks about how isolating pain is. Lori, you and I both experience pain. But we will use different language to describe what it feels like. And I guarantee you, neither one of us will feel as though the language we have used accurately describes our experience of pain.
So most of the people reading this will feel as though there is a connection with all of us who experience chronic pain. And at the same time, we all experience it differently. Not only that, but when we experience it we are so very alone.

When we feel isolated, that can be considered "social pain" in the same way we can experience psychological pain when we feel hurt or abandoned or ashamed. And those who study the brain tell us that physical pain, emotional pain and social pain are all experienced in the same part of the brain.

In this section we have been talking about how to diminish the physical experience of pain, and of course we would all love to do that. But what about this social and psychological experience of pain?

My personal experience is that when people know, at least intellectually, what it's like to be a quadriplegic, I feel a bit less alone. And I feel that way even knowing that the other person or people can never ever fully "get it". But at least they know of my struggles and my resilience and are able to feel compassion as opposed to pity.

And so to with that physical experience of pain. I watch my friends faces as I describe with words that are inadequate how it feels in my arms on good days "the worst sunburn you've ever had" and one bad days "I have no skin on my arms and a slight breeze will be agony". The words don't quite get it, but I can see in their faces that they feel an emotional pain knowing their friend is feeling physical pain. As a result, I feel less alone. The physical pain doesn't change, but diminishing social pain is a quality of life issue.

I truly need help in finding a SCI doctor in the Las Vegas area.  Can anyone tell me how to search for one?

hi Deborah,
I can't help you myself, but someone at the foundation should be able to. I would contact Rob Gerth directly.
Sure hope that helps

Please call our Information Specialists at

800-539-7309

(Mon.-Fri., 9 am to 5 pm ET).

They will be able to hook you up.

Rob

next week's webcast will be on the topic of pain.

Whether it is physical, emotional or social pain when we feel isolated or alienated.I am told by neurologists that all pain lights up in the same part of the brain.

Does that mean the coping mechanisms are the same once the pain changes from acute to chronic?

Join us and share your experience-and your wisdom

Just returned from a brief and wonderful vacation to Vermont visiting a dear friend from high school and his wonderful wife of 25 years.
When we had some time alone, his wife shared with me the ongoing story of her severe chronic pain.
Her adult son has a disability that has affected his mood and, on occasion, his judgment. He has difficulty managing his life or keeping a job. He has recently lost his marriage and may very well lose his children.
And his mother, my friend, has chronic severe emotional pain as a result. Her pain lights up in the same part of her brain has all of ours who experience physical pain.

But for her, there is no medication, no nerve blocks, no electrical stimulation or any other intervention. Her pain, like ours is chronic and severe. We talked about how her son might not survive his disability. She wept as she knew this truth for many years now. As a mother-as a human-she was still looking for the right thing to do with the right thing to say or the right intervention that would resolve this problem and fix her son. And perhaps in the process, heal her broken heart.

When I told her there was no "right way" and that her son would improve unless he was willing to live the life he has instead of waiting for that life he wants. She cried again but deep down she always knew this.

But with my friend didn't know was that she was coping just beautifully with her chronic severe pain. She told me she had a life that she enjoyed. She said that 80% of her life was wonderful and 20% felt like never-ending darkness.

I told her that "never-ending" part was the voice of fear and was part of the story she told herself when that darkness came to visit. Those of us with chronic illness or pain or anything in our lives that cause suffering, we know of that darkness. And the best way to live with it is is to just allow it to visit when it does, feel it without telling stories about what it means and how long it lasts. But the best thing we can do is craft a life that brings us joy and a sense that we are contributing to the welfare of others. And that is the best treatment in the world for chronic pain. It's inexpensive and there are no side effects.

"................And the best way to live with it is is to just allow it to visit when it does, feel it without telling stories about what it means and how long it lasts. But the best thing we can do is craft a life that brings us joy and a sense that we are contributing to the welfare of others. And that is the best treatment in the world for chronic pain. It's inexpensive and there are no side effects."

Dan, you are 110% right. i agree with you. may God bless you.....and all around us.....with our chronic pains!