Dan Gottlieb said:
the first step in dealing with chronic pain whether it is physical or emotional is recognizing that the goal is not necessarily to make it go away. The goal is to learn to live the life you have with equanimity and comfort.
So as I suggested in another post, we are embarking on the process of retraining our brains. Brains that are conditioned to react to pain as though it is an emergency. And when it is an emergency, we tell ourselves stories about the cause, cure and prognosis. Well, when pain is chronic, our habitual way of reacting is that we tell ourselves stories
about what the pain means and when it will or won't go away and how we will or won't live with it.
All stories. And those stories are works of fiction. So let's take a careful look at what's really happening moment by moment.
John Cabot Zinn describes these techniques much better than I ever could, but begin by giving yourself permission to take 30 min. a day that is just for you. Put yourself in a position that is as comfortable as possible with your body as erect as possible.(you don't want to be so comfortable that you might drift off to sleep).
First, feel yourself in your body. Feel what parts of your body carry the emotions, what parts carry the pain and what parts are pain free. Just notice without stories.
And when you are finally comfortable that you are in your body and in your seat, just notice your breathing. Try to focus all of your attention on the in breath. Be aware of where you feel the in breath most-in your nostrils, your chest or your belly. Then notice how each in breath is slightly different.
And while you are doing this, be aware of how many times you are mind engages in thoughts and stories that distract your attention. Don't worry, that's what human minds do. Just gently bring your mind back to your breathing. Even if it is 500 times, that's okay. After all, the goal is not to quiet your mind the goal is to pay attention to your life.
Try to do that every day if possible. Let's see what happens