This is a very profound exchange.
What is hope, what is luck? Why do ... .well we all know all the questions.
None of us really knows what is right for anyone else; we can only move forward in our own way as best we can.
My husband would tell you his soul needed to plant itself in a chair for however long it will take him to learn about not-doing, not being able to do do do every minute of every day and thereby never evolve and develop as a deeply feeling man. Did his soul call for this paralyzation so he could grow? What profound lesson did he need to learn? Will the results actually make him an extremely lucky man?
And there is my learning too. How do I care for him without sacrificing who I am and who I need to be?
The potential for the newly injured is so much greater even today than it was 4 1/2 years ago when my husband had his accident. We are not even talking the same game for those with long term SCI.
Here is my little story:
Many years ago I became pregnant with our second child. I "knew" I was carrying a boy, but was going to have
a girl. I also knew something was going to happen to this baby I was carrying. After his birth, I told my husband how puzzled I was. Here was this healthy baby boy, and all my premonitions came to nothing. But in the following 17 days, I became more and more agitated about driving. I made no connection, but my husband wrote it off to post-partum blues. I just thought I was going nuts.
On day 17 we were driving in winter conditions and as we rounded a corner the oncoming vehicle lost control and hit us head on. To make a long story short, our new son was killed.
My point is, is this bad luck? I believe the whole thing was completely orchestrated by all of our souls so that we could develop and evolve in the ways we needed to. If it was luck, how did I know something was going to happen? And yes, 11 months later I gave birth to a girl - something that would never
have happened because we were going to stop at 2 boys. Yep, that's how much control we thought we had over our destinies.
People surely look at us and at all our "bad luck" and think something like, "I'm glad I have led a good life so that those bad things don' t happen to me!" Who knows why some people recover and others don't? Who knows why some people aren't even moved
to recover? Others would move heaven and earth but it is just not meant to be. In our small sphere we have met every flavor and now I understand that what floats our boat doesn't necessarily float anyone else's.
I DO think that there is a lot about the nervous system and the spinal cord that is just beginning to be understood, and that there is more and more potential for recovery from SCI. In that framework I would want everyone, everyone
, to have hope. People like Karen Lynn will help us learn. But in the meantime, like my husband, I would hope that we can maximize every minute of what we signed up for: being in a chair. And people like Dan and Trish model for us such elegance of that - such profound wisdom - it is truly humbling.
We just watched a Masterpiece Classic (Netflix) called Any Human Heart. A great study of luck.
Good luck to all of us.