It happened again! Returning to my home airport from a weeklong business trip, it appears that somebody moved the elevators. “Impossible” you say? That's what I once thought, but it has happened far too often to be a coincidence or a fluke. I'll grant you that it would be difficult to do, but I think that--at the very least--somebody is moving or hiding the elevator signs to make my life more difficult.

Here's what happened. I'm always the last one off the plane, due to the wait for my electric wheelchair to be brought to the door, and last week was no exception. Almost 30 minutes after the rest of my fellow passengers had headed for the main terminal to gather their baggage from the moving belt, I was finally able to start that trip myself. The big difference was that I did not have a crowd to follow, so was completely on my own except for my attendant who followed along behind me lugging our carry-on bags. He wasn't much use in orienteering, as he was simply following my lead.

There was also a complicating factor this time, as our flight took off and landed at one of the outside remote terminals commonly found in large airports. That required the use of a subterranean computer-controlled train to reach the main terminal and potentially two or three elevator rides to find our baggage. Did I mention that the train was computer-controlled, so no real operator was present to answer questions? It also stopped at two other remote terminals besides the main terminal where baggage could be collected, and these destinations were identified with such explanatory terms as ‘north, south, east or west.’ If you have ever tried to figure out a compass direction while traveling in a circle on an underground train without a compass you know how confusing that can be.

I'm good at directions but, looking at the map on the train, it appeared that baggage could be retrieved at two of the train stops. How was that possible? The train announcement was no help, as this international airport required all announcements to be repeated in about eight languages. I'm sure that English was one of them, but I must have missed it. The end result was that I got off at one of the other remote terminals: at least I think I did.

After finding an elevator and getting up to the main floor, there were signs identifying baggage being available in both directions. We headed right, in the same direction as other travelers who looked tired from a long flight. It was the right choice, but a long walk.

While there might be four escalators serving a particular change in elevation, there is likely only one elevator and it is often placed in a hidden location nowhere near the main route of travel used by the rest of the traveling public. The word ELEVATOR is not always present either, as those signs are being replaced with up and down arrows located in an oblong rectangle. These are very similar to the rectangles used on signs identifying restrooms and baggage, so you need to be alert.

Tucked behind corners, hidden in cul-de-sacs or in cubbyholes, there are few alternatives if an elevator breaks down. It is not easy to overcome the difficulties encountered when confronted with a broken elevator in an airport. On an earlier trip, we had to take another train ride—to a separate remote terminal which had an elevator that could get us off the train level.

On this trip, we encountered two nonfunctioning elevators, rode down on another one that unloaded us into the back room of the customs inspection section and rode up on one with a pushbutton that was marked Baggage. When the elevator door opened we could see the baggage carousels through a window, but the only way to get there was to take an escalator to an upper or lower floor.

We finally retrieved our suitcases about an hour after our flight landed. We did encounter one more problem when the escalator to and from the parking garage was broken down, which required people carrying luggage to their cars to carry it up what amounted to a stairway—or to ride the nearby elevator. Every time the elevator arrived, it was already packed full of weary travelers and their luggage; no room for me and mine.

In retrospect, airport designers should be sentenced to a lifelong ban on riding escalators or using stairways in airports. Perhaps then they would plan for multiple elevators located on the most direct routes, and clearly marked.

A later discussion may concern another pet peeve of mine: those architects who think it’s cute to hide or camouflage the locations of power-assisted door pushbuttons.

© 2010 Michael Collins