I was hospitalized twice this year at two different hospitals and the care couldn't have been more different. One was very good. The other one, I hope to never set foot in as an inpatient ever again. A stay in the hospital is never fun, but as I have learned, it is up to each of us to determine how we are treated during a stay.

Do not be afraid to be assertive when it comes to your well-being. You know your personal care, health, and history better then anyone else and for any health care professional to suggest otherwise it is not right. For instance, I have a chest port (for injections) and have had it for many years. For some reason, nurses do not want to access it. I don't have this in me for vanity reasons; I have a port because I have lived with Lupus for 22 years and my veins are shot.

I keep the port just in case the Lupus were to flare up, and I keep it for IV access. It is one poke and you can't miss. One time in the emergency room quite a few years ago it took 21 pokes before a second anesthesiologist was able to find a working vein. For the nurses to question me on using the port when I need surgery is just mind-boggling. Their main reason for not using it appears to be the cost of a port kit. Twenty one different IV kits can't be cost efficient either. Why put me through more pain and suffering in attempting to get a vein that doesn't exist anymore? During these last two hospital stays I didn't let anyone come near me with an IV needle. It was my port or I was leaving, broken femur and all.

Always check the medications they are giving you. If you have a question about a certain medication and are uncertain what it is, by all means don't be afraid to ask. I found numerous mistakes from the wrong Baclofen dose, or having me down as allergic to the only Lupus medication I take. I have even had deal with missing medications – even though on more then one occasion it was written plain as day in my chart. If you take numerous medications as I do, I find it best to have the nurses hand them to you separately instead of all them in a cup so you can distinguish what is what. It is safer that way.

Pain management is key in your recovery. If you aren't comfortable you aren't going to get well. This last time, my first couple of days were hell. Right out of surgery my day nurse denied me pain medication; when he finally decided I could have some he delayed it an hour or two after I had asked for it. He'd rather stand there and watch me scream and cry my eyes out than provide the pain medication I was prescribed by my surgeon. He then suggested to staff to lower my dose. Nurses shouldn't leave doors open when suggesting things that have to deal with me. I document everything and since he wasn't giving me pain medication I was perfectly coherent.

I never been more happy to see a shift change. That night I got one of the sweetest nurses who told me she would keep up with my pain meds and keep the pain under control. She was my angel. That pain was far from gone, but with managing it I was able to get comfortable enough to get some much needed rest.

Hospitals have social workers and coordinators visit your room. Use them. They are there to protect you and if you are having problems these are the people you need to vent to. They will address it with the right people. If you can't advocate for yourself it is best you have someone there that knows everything about you so they can be expressive when it comes to your care. If you have a problem with anyone do not hold that back. You are there to get help and care, not mistreated.

If you can take anything away from this blog I want everyone to brush up on your knowledge of Autonomic Dysreflexia (AD). I don't know how many nurses and doctors I came across in both my stays, but I can tell you how many knew about AD. ONE! That's a scary statistic. It was an anesthesia nurse at my second stay that came and talked to me about AD before I was wheeled down to have surgery. The look on my face must have said it all, because he said I looked surprised. I was.

I made sure everyone knew about AD from the ER staff to every new nurse that was part of my care. I have never had issues with AD, but I wanted everyone aware of it. You don't know what or how surgery and different medications are going to react with your body. It is better to be wise and overly prepared with AD knowledge then not knowing about it at all. It is a very scary condition and you can die from it. It is your responsibility to not only know the dangers of AD, but it is your responsibility to inform the staff of it too. Read this for more on AD.

I have had my fair share of hospital stays and I have a few hospital tips for you to make your next stay more comfortable.

• 4 a.m. Vitals – when you are stable you can ask one of your docs to have this taken off the to do list. This is the only way you can get a full night’s sleep and the only time the floor is quiet.

• Food – if you don't like what is on your tray, a tech or nurse can call and order something from the cafeteria and get you something you do like. Have family and friends bring food from home or your favorite places. Easy Mac and microwavable meals are great. Easy to store and only take a few minutes to heat up and taste better then hospital food. It may not be as healthy as hospital food, but trust me I have seen some nasty things come across as “food.”

• If you are on bed rest or can't sit up, but want your hair washed well, have your nurses and techs get you on gurney and then slide up so your head is dangling over the edge. Use a wheel-in shower, tub or sink with a long hose. This is almost like getting your hair washed in the salon and you get all the shampoo and conditioner out. When you have long hair as I do you can't get the hair rinsed well in a bag or a bowl lying in bed. On top of that you and the bed end up extremely soaked.

• Have a small bag of toiletries packed at all times. This is good for travel or if you end up in the hospital. Make sure you keep it stocked. This will be something that will be easy for you to grab or ask a friend or relative to get for you and it's always better to use products you are used to and you won't pay hospital charges for them.

• Student nurses – if you are uncomfortable in having them work on you, you can politely tell the nurse in charge you would rather have them do it and the student watch. I know they are there to learn, but you don't have to be their guinea pig. They'll have other opportunities.

Hopefully, nobody has to be in the hospital, but if by chance you end up there, you want it to be as comfortable and as much like home as possible. Nurses and doctors don't know everything and we all have our ways of doing things – don't let being in the hospital change what you do with your body. You just might be teaching them something. Don't be afraid to use your voice and advocate for yourself in your care.

© 2011 Kristina Allen